The Ten Verbs of Somatic Resiliency

The Ten Verbs of Therapy in Somatic Resiliency

Love Be See Know Create Listen Improvise Pace Hold Stretch

These ten verbs are another way to look at and absorb the Ten Principles of Somatic Resiliency.

Love the patient. This is the foundation of Somatic Resiliency. I emphasize that love is not a feeling or emotion here. Love is a verb. It is not about how we feel towards the patient. It is how we are with and how we act toward the patient. So, how is love a verb in the therapy context? Love means treating the patient exactly as how we would want to be treated ourselves. It is also the stance of unconditional regard for the patient. Again, this is not how we feel towards the patient. It is to actively see them as a full human being with their own rights and emotions, and we respect that, no matter how we may dislike some of their behaviors.

Be present. I think this is one of the hardest tasks of being a therapist. It is a skill we develop over time, but we must actively practice this skill every day we work with our patients. First, we can only be and stay present if we have a fairly regulated nervous system. Emotions and anxiety can run very high in a session and because of the reality of co-regulation we will experience high emotions and anxiety at times too. The same goes for dissociation. When our patients move towards dissociation, we do ourselves at some times and we must be aware of our early signs of dissociation.

Being present does not mean the same thing as being calm. We can stay calm and clinically detached. But this approach is interactive with the patient. What we must learn to do is stay within our window of optimum arousal and maintain mindfulness. We need to remember the therapist’s own nervous system regulation sets the emotional tone. This is not easy! I think it is very difficult do this if we have not done or are not doing our own personal therapy work. There are many reasons to do our own therapy work. The ability to stay present is one.

You cannot really use the Somatic Resiliency approach if the patient is not in the room with you during the session.

There are benefits and drawbacks to virtual therapy. I am not arguing against virtual therapy. Many therapeutic modalities and approaches work well with virtual therapy. But the Somatic Resiliency approach assumes physical presence, experiences of our energy fields, in vivo co-regulation, joint activities, close observation of both body and facial movements and real-time creativity and interaction.

See the good and admirable in the patient. This helps provide the patient with the neuroception of safety and belonging.

Know yourself. Self-awareness and regulation are requirements for attunement.

Create a space. A safe therapeutic space requires structure and consistency to provide the necessary containment. The consistent safety cues are then predictable and reinforce positive neuroception. In addition, social psychologists inform us that small rituals such as having a regular way to start and end sessions increases parasympathetic tone.

Listen actively. Active listening means full attention to the patient, recognizing non-verbal as well as verbal cues and being either too close or too far away from the patient. Being truly heard and understood is one of the deepest longings of our patients. It provides the neuroception of relational and safety which is often missing in their lives.

Improvise moment by moment. Being flexible allows resonance and attunement to the emerging needs of the patient during the session.

Pace the flow of the session. This is one of the ten principles – slow down. Slowing down allows safety experiences to deepen. It supports parasympathetic patterning and consolidation.

Hold the emotions. One of our main tasks as therapists is to help increase the patient’s capacity to sit with affective intensity without rushing to discharge the tension. We encourage and support the patient’s ability to sit with discomfort and allow the nervous system to tolerate activation without fear.

Stretch the parasympathetic state. As discussed, we want to stretch out the time a patient experiences safety, calm, joy, or any other experiences which activate parasympathetic pathways the patient can mindfully notice. This builds the capacity for regulation and connection outside of the session.

So again, the ten Verbs of Somatic Resiliency

Love the patient

Be present

See the good and admirable

Know yourself

Create a space

Listen actively

Improvise moment by moment

Pace the flow

Hold the emotions

Stretch the parasympathetic state